Our young people tend to move in cycles (in reality we all do, but that’s another story).
Like the waves crashing on the shore, the effort of moving forwards inevitably also leads to some backwards motion. Neurodevelopmentally foundational, it’s the same framework that operates during the so-called “sleep regressions” our young people experience as babies. Monumental developmental and neurological progress is inevitably accompanied by some kind of interrupted development elsewhere – in this example in their sleep.
These things can’t be fixed and they don’t need to be – whatever people might well-meaningly advise you. They are just seasons to be moved through.
It can be so scary. Witnessing your young person not being able to do something they did before, watching them as they “appear to” lose skills.
Those skills aren’t gone. They are still there. Your young person just needs a moment; to breathe, to recalibrate. To make sense of the world again in line with the progress they are making elsewhere; the sense of self they are developing or the new skill they are exploring.
That process will be worked through naturally accompanied by love, connection, understanding and patience. It will stall if we try to fix it with fear or pressure or rigidity or pace. Even dogged determination.
It’s a big part of why the school system isn’t likely to work for our young people. Our young people need time to work through these seasons with a huge amount of flexibility to just breathe, recalibrate, and be – exactly as they are.
Our role is to accept the rhythm. Be at peace with the process. Watch the season pass.
Allowing our young people to be and trusting that they are unfolding, in exactly the way they need to and enjoying the peace that comes with it 💜
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Image Credit: Sebastien Gabriel @ Unsplash
Image Description: A photograph of the sun setting over the sea. Waves are coming in and out across the sand.
