All play is valid.
I had a professional in my house once, trying to convince me over and over again to do things his way. To not foster my son’s interest in animals and dinosaurs, to not support his regulation by following his cues.
He wanted me to interrupt my son’s play. To disrupt it on purpose to build “resilience” in my son. He wanted me to discourage play involving labelling animals and dinosaurs – telling me I was encouraging my child to be a “collector of words” – whatever that means.
He described my son’s play as “not that bad actually”. He judged the quality of it and in doing so judged my son’s validity as a human, and my validity as his mother in making the choices I was making to foster our sense of connection at a time I literally feared that I was going to lose that with him altogether.
This guy pushed further and further into my physical space, and argued more and more for his point of view, becoming increasingly frustrated with my “lack of flexibility”, when, looking back on it now, it was clearly his that was the issue.
On leaving he warned me about my marriage. That my focus on supporting my son would destroy it.
I tell this story, because even knowing what I know, and with the experience that I had at the time in this field, this guy’s comments lurked at the corners of mind (and still do to some extent).
He was a professional, employed by the Local Authority and someone with a lot of his own experience and qualifications. He meant well, I’m sure of that, but what he did was pass over the ableist narrative and fear-mongering he wasn’t even aware he was carrying.
All play is valid.
All play is meaningful.
All play is purposeful.
The key is that play is personal to the person playing. It is not for the outsider to judge.
All play is valid, all humans are valid, and nobody needs to be anything other than who they are.
–
Image Description: A Hot Wheels Ultimate Garage – absolutely ram packed with other small toys. They have been lined up and placed methodically, filling every level of the track, stood to attention in most places, and have been placed so that they fit perfectly together.
